Children are the most vulnerable individuals involved in a divorce. They don’t have the means yet to protect and defend themselves from the emotional turmoil wreaked by a split-up, even if you and your spouse will share custody.
Though you and your ex will be able to spend time with the children in a shared custody, it still depends on both of you for the arrangement to work. Your family law attorney can help you keep your child, but you have to work hard to maintain your portion of custody for your child’s best interest.
Avoid Bad-Mouthing Your Former Spouse
Saying bad things about your ex in front of your kids will negatively impact them. Because children know and believe that they belong to you and your ex, they will take whatever you say about your ex seriously and as a reflection of themselves. Also, remember that just because your ex treated you unfairly doesn’t mean he or she can’t be a good parent. Whatever ill feelings you have towards your ex, don’t share them with your children.
Make Realistic Commitments
Don’t let your fear of losing your children get in the way of making a realistic and effective custody schedule. Only commit to a schedule that you can actually follow. It’s not that easy, but set aside your emotions and treat the custody as a business arrangement wherein you consider your own schedule, needs, and existing commitments. This way, you can follow through, avoiding disappointments and broken promises.
Consider Your Child’s Needs
Ensure that the custody arrangement accommodates your children’s situations. Before finalizing it, see if the agreement fits the children’s academic and extracurricular activity schedules, as well as their personalities and ages. You may also want to ask your children for their input on the arrangement. This will make them feel heard and like they are being given special attention, making the entire process easier for them.
Following these tips will make it possible for you and your former spouse to not only achieve the goal of a shared custody, but of guaranteeing a good childhood for your children, despite the divorce.
If you’re not sure how this type of custody works and how to get it, call reliable family law attorneys in Newport News, VA for expert advice.
Sources:
9 Rules to Make Joint Child Custody Work, parents.com
Child Custody Decisions: Criteria Used and Types of Custody, educaloi.qc.ca
